honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
