Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize