We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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