I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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