I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
