if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
