She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I am available for nakedness
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
