happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
