She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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