ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
