He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
