Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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