return my video game
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
