Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This baby is an asshole
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
