You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
