what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
