I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
