Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
