I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
