she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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