And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
