butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
