you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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