O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
