i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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