Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
