There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
