it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
