Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
