she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
