She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
