I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
