i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
