So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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