i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
