Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
