If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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