you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
