the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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