he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
