I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
