im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
