Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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