ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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