its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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