Kiss
Puke
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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