I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
