Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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