Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
