omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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