Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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